Are You an Emotional Spender?

While there is nothing wrong with a little retail therapy every once in a while, some of us depend too much on shopping as a therapeutic escape. 

Maybe you use online shopping to cope after a bad fight with your partner or you book a celebratory trip after a good performance review.

These aren’t necessarily wrong, but they can become problematic if they turn into a habitual way of managing your emotions. 

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What Is Emotional Spending?

Emotional spending is the habitual act of making purchases based on your feelings rather than necessity. 

People will experience emotional spending differently — some might overspend when they are happiest, while others will go into debt because they are bored or depressed. 

Regardless of the trigger, this type of spending can lead to significant financial and emotional consequences if left unchecked.

Emotional spending is a vicious cycle

Emotional spending can lead to debt. Once you get trapped in the debt cycle, it is hard to get out and your debt starts to dictate your life choices. 

Hate the job you are in? You’ll feel obligated to stay if credit card bills are hanging over your head. 

Emotionally, you are training yourself to avoid real issues with temporary dopamine hits. Your emotional spending could be the crutch that is keeping you from making hard choices, like dealing with a toxic relationship or addressing why you are discontent with your life. 

No amount of shopping will make these deeper issues go away — it actually exacerbates them. The temporary relief gained from spending money can quickly fade, leaving you with both the original problem and new financial stress. 

This can create a vicious cycle where you spend more to chase fleeting moments of happiness, further deepening your debt and emotional difficulties.

READ MORE: Why It’s Hard to Get Out of Debt With Only Minimum Payments

Signs of Emotional Spending

Emotional spending is often an overlooked problem because we are all guilty of it on occasion. It can be hard to spot when emotional spending becomes a habit. 

The subtle shift from occasional indulgence to habitual behavior can easily go unnoticed until you are thousands of dollars in debt. 

Here are some clues that you're letting your emotions run your credit card wild:

• Impulse purchases: Take a gander at your credit card statement or recent Amazon orders. How many purchases were unplanned and, if we’re honest, a little off the wall? When our emotions are in the driver’s seat, it can impair our judgment and make us feel that five-inch sparkly heels at midnight are what we desperately need. 
• Buyer’s remorse: How often do you feel guilty or regretful after a purchase or when you add up how much you spent at the end of the month?
• Frequent returns: How many times have you returned items once the emotional moment has passed? 
• Hiding purchases: Do you ever hide purchases from your partner, family members, or roommate because you feel ashamed or are trying to avoid judgment? 
• Spending more than you make: If you are running out of paycheck before the month is over, this could be a red flag you are living beyond your means. 
• Feeling a shopper’s high: Yes, we all get that feeling when we score the perfect sale, but are you relying on that feeling every time you enter a store? Do you feel low when that high wears off? 

Try practicing a short pause before you throw something in your cart or press “buy now.” 

Ask yourself how you are feeling and why you are buying the item. Do you really need it or do you believe this item will help you achieve something?

READ MORE: How to Beat Lifestyle Creep and Meet Your Money Goals

How To Stop Emotional Spending

While it’s essential to your budget and financial goals that you get a hold on emotional spending, it is a habit that can take many months to break. 

Don’t get discouraged! Instead, try these tips to break free from your shopping addiction.

Make it harder to impulse buy

Disconnect all your credit cards from your favorite online stores to make buying as inconvenient as possible. 

If I have to track down my wallet and enter my credit card number into a site, I am less likely to do it. 

Similarly, you can have a 24-hour cart rule to quell impulse buys. You might be surprised how you don’t want that dress so desperately after a good night’s sleep. 

Notice triggers and redirect

Figure out what is driving you to browse your favorite store — either online or in-person — when you don’t need anything. 

Identify what triggers you to use shopping as a coping mechanism, then try to replace it with a healthier habit. 

For example, if a bad day at work sends you running to Target, try walking around your local park instead to blow off steam. 

Know when to get professional help

Just like any addiction, emotional spending can become a serious issue that requires a counselor or therapist’s help. 

They can help you identify and address the root cause, and help you create an action plan to stop. 

READ MORE: Change Your Relationship with Money: Tips from a Financial Psychologist

TL;DR: Stopping Emotional Spending

When emotional spending becomes a regular coping mechanism, it can lead to financial strain, increased debt, and long-term stress. 

Consider how often you feel buyer’s remorse or a shopper’s high. Look at your impulse purchases. Do you feel pressured to hide your purchases out of shame?

Recognizing the difference between occasional indulgence and a retail dependency will prevent you from further harming your financial health and emotional well-being.

For more tips on managing your money and emotions, check out these episodes of the Erika Taught Me podcast:

• The Psychology of Money
• The Root of Your Anxiety and Stress
• This Is Why You’re Feeling Burnt Out

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